Why Black Women Aren’t Allowed to Make Mistakes: Black Womanhood and the Pressure to Be Perfect
Something keeps coming up in the work that I do with my clients, particularly with the high functioning Black women I work with on their personal branding. It’s a certain type of pressure that follows Black women everywhere we go. It moves with us in professional spaces, creeps into our personal lives and sits heavily on our shoulders from the moment we begin to navigate the world with self-awareness. It is the unspoken but deeply felt expectation to be exceptional at all times. To never falter, stumble or even make a mistake.
I tried my best to capture this in my video exploring how Black womanhood is shaped by the pressure to be perfect.
It is a pressure that comes from systemic inequality, from cultural double standards and from the way society has historically treated Black women; as resilient beyond reason, as strong without softness, as capable but never vulnerable. I can speak from my own experience of being a British-Nigerian woman being raised with the pressure to succeed academically whilst also having to trust the intuitions that very often fail us and even dehumanise us.
From early on, Black women are taught that they need to be twice as good just to be seen as enough. We are taught that our mistakes will not be forgiven the way others’ might be. That our failures will be magnified, our competence questioned and our humanity denied if we show too much emotion, ask for help or admit we do not have all the answers. Perfection becomes a kind of armour but that armour is heavy and no one should have to wear it all the time.
In the workplace, this pressure shows up in countless ways. Black women often feel the need to overperform, to never say the wrong thing and to constantly prove that we belong. We are judged not just on our work but on how we speak, how we dress, how we express ourselves. The margin for error is razor-thin. The cost of a misstep can be our credibility, our job security or our mental health.
This isn’t about working hard, Black women have always worked hard, many of communities expect it of us, we’re supposed to work hard in order to succeed but at what cost? We have the right to be human and to learn, to grow and get it wrong sometimes without having our entire identity questioned.
Black women deserve the space to be vulnerable without punishment and we should be able to evolve without constant surveillance and interrogation. When we take up leadership roles we should be able to navigate spaces without constantly having to prove that we deserve to be there.
I believe that perfection is not the goal, liberation is. Liberation is allowing ourselves the freedom to be whole, imperfect and still worthy even in a world that cannot handle that. How do we do this without losing ourselves? Finding safe spaces to share our experiences, writing long ranting pieces like this, seeking advocates who will speak when we lose our voice.
It’s time that society stopped holding Black women to impossible standards and started creating space for them to be who they are without the pressure to perform perfection.
Personal Brand 3 Month Deep Dive Coaching Package is ideal for business owners, entrepreneurs, creatives or professionals who want to raise their visibility and business credibility through dedicated and intentional personal brand coaching.
This coaching package is for you if:
You have been working hard in your sector for many years but do not get the recognition that you feel like you deserve.
You are tired of doubting yourself and limiting yourself in your sector.
You are often overlooked for exciting new opportunities in your sector.
You are ready for a breakthrough as a leader in your sector.
You have goals that you have buried because of your lack of confidence and concern with what other people will think.
You want to widen your circle of influence beyond the people who currently know you.
You are frustrated with the way your online footprint represents you.
You know something is holding you back and need a passionate, honest and pragmatic host to take you to the next level.
Clients who have booked this package have left with renewed confidence in their goals and aims; established clarity as it pertains to how they position themselves in their industries and have attracted exciting opportunities which have led to career and business growth. Read what past clients have to say about the personal brand coaching sessions here.
What we will cover over the course of our 3 months:
The Power of a Personal brand - how having a strong personal brand can open up new opportunities in your business or career journey.
Mindset and confidence review - discuss barriers and limitations and how to overcome them.
Harnessing your voice - Knowing and understanding what your message is, who your audience is and how to reach them.
Using PR to enhance your profile - Using public relations strategies to enhance your public profile.
Media training and visibility - how to engage with the press
Identifying your values & Knowing your purpose - Understanding what your brand is and how you can maintain your integrity and authenticity.
Social Media strategy - How to use social media platforms to raise your visibility.
Understanding your audience - unpacking who your audience is and why you want to engage with them
Public Speaking Tips - Advice and guidance on becoming a more confident public speaker.
Measuring Success - Assessing Long term goals and celebrating success.
How it works:
60 minute preparation and brainstorming call - personal branding questionnaire
Personal brand audit to be sent before first coaching call
Two 90 minute coaching calls/face to face meet ups each month
Email check-ins in between calls/meet ups
Fortnightly assignments and shared document to review progress
Key goals and targets designed to improve progress
60 minute end of coaching call.
Cancellations* must be made within 7 days of order being placed. After which point a refund will be made less a £50 termination fee. This is based on no work being undertaken. If work has already commenced services are not refundable but transferable.
Cancellations on the grounds of a change of business circumstances.