Don’t lose who you are just because you want to give them what they want

I’m quite an adaptable person. As a PR pro and all round good vibes person I think it’s important to adapt and be accommodating to those we serve however there’s a quiet danger in being too good at adapting, in being so tuned into what others want from you; their approval, their expectations or their remit that you start editing yourself to fit and forget what your standards and boundaries are. At first, it seems harmless because if we adjust, adapt with a small compromise here and there you’ll get the things that you think you deserve. But slowly, quietly, you start trading pieces of who you are for the comfort of being accepted whether that’s through a client contract, a business opportunity or professional role.

We all want to be seen, valued, and chosen especially in a world that is constantly busy. That’s human (or is it? Answers on a postcard please). But what I have come to realise is that when being chosen comes at the cost of being myself, it’s not a win, it's a denial of self. Intentionality is what keeps you rooted when you lose focus, it’s the act of asking yourself: Is this aligned with who I am? Is this moving me closer to my purpose or farther away?  

I had a situation not too long ago when I should have set clearer boundaries and not simply gone along with what the potential client was asking of me. If I had been firm instead of fearful I would have saved myself a lot of time and probably would not have written this piece.
I should have listened to my instinct and been more confident in my power. Why did I allow myself to enter into a situation which did not align with my purpose even though it looked like it did? I suppose I was operating from a place of enthusiasm combined with deep-rooted fear that those opportunities don’t always present themselves as much as I would like them to so I needed to grab this one even though it did not suit me. When you live with intention, you're not easily swayed by fear. You make decisions with clarity, not out of desperation. You also understand that saying no or communicating your boundaries isn’t being difficult, it's about being loyal to your values. You know that not every opportunity is your opportunity.

Every time you give them what they want at the expense of who you are, you send yourself a message: “Their comfort is more important than my truth” or worse “they have more power over me than I have over myself”. In truth this situation drained my creativity and showed up in how I dealt with it. My work felt hollow, my voice was not really my own which is counterintuitive given the personal branding work I do with my clients!

I definitely learnt that I shouldn’t ignore my instinct and my intuition because they are part of my superpower.

And when someone asks for something that doesn’t work for me it’s OK to not give them what they want if it means compromising who I am.