Do You Really Have Haters or Do You Just Need Constant Validation?
Haters is a popular term used to describe people who are not supportive or not encouraging. It also gets used quite a lot to label people who don't agree with what a person does. Whilst there are people who don't want to see you win there are also many people who simply don't care or in fact are offering valid feedback but because people don't want to accept their points they label them as haters.
Not everyone who shares a contrary opinion/reaction to something you do is a hater.Some people are trying to offer feedback, albeit they might not be communicating the feedback effectively, but that doesn't make them haters. It just makes them individuals with opinions.
— Ronke Lawal (@ronkelawal) June 19, 2019
I used the term when I was younger and still do sometimes colloquially, usually as a joke but I don't spend too much time thinking about whether I have haters or not. In fact the only people who I feel have a valid right to highlight the fact that they have haters are 90s rappers and reality TV stars. There will always be people who don't like you or like what you do, that is life, calling them haters doesn't change that fact and quite often it leads to a barrier of communication. What if the people who are being labelled as haters have a point, what if there is something that could be improved in whatever area of business you're operating in.
Do you really have haters or are you simply seeking constant validation from everyone? Not everyone is your customer, not everyone can validate your business idea. The right people will obviously be your customers and offer you the support you need, that might actually include having to hear negative feedback in order to grow. If there are people who are intentionally trying to ruin your business then there are appropriate steps you can take to protect yourself and if there are people who just don't like or want what you have to offer that is their right. In business in particular, I cringe when I see founders/CEOs address their critics as "haters" publicly, to me that shows that the individual in question has taken a business interaction personally and can really damage their reputation in the long run. Your fixation on your "haters" (depending on how you define them) is a sign that perhaps you're more concerned about the views of non-essential entities rather than the views of your customers and target market. Because if you choose to call people who choose not to buy from you a hater then perhaps you should not be in business.
In this video I address this concept and how/why we really should let it go.
Another way of thinking is that many people assume they have “haters,” but often what they’re really experiencing is the discomfort that comes with visibility and stepping into a more confident version of themselves. As a personal branding coach, I help clients understand that criticism and even silence from others are not signs to shrink, they’re signals that your presence is expanding. When you learn to separate real feedback from imagined opposition, you reclaim your energy and focus it where it matters: building a brand rooted in clarity, courage, and authenticity. The question isn’t whether you have haters; it’s whether you’re ready to rise above the noise and own your narrative.
I also think that sometimes we are our own biggest haters. We focus so much on how other perceive us or engage with us when in reality we are the ones holding ourselves back - take the time to reflect on this and what it’s doing to how you engage with your own goals. When all is said and done are you actually your own biggest hater afterall?