Why Self-Promotion Feels Uncomfortable and How to Overcome It with Confidence
Whether you’re speaking on stage, showing up on social media, or networking at an event, promoting yourself can feel awkward. Even accomplished professionals, business owners and creatives hesitate sometimes when it’s time to talk about their work or share their achievements.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why does this feel so uncomfortable?” you’re not alone. As a personal brand speaker and coach and event moderator, I work with talented individuals who want to be seen and heard and the truth is: most of them struggle with self-promotion at some point - this is particularly common in the United Kingdom where humility is praised. That discomfort is not a flaw, it’s something you can understand, manage and even overcome with the right mindset and tools.
Let’s break down why self-promotion feels so uncomfortable and how you can reframe it to show up with confidence and authenticity.
1. Self-Promotion Feels Like Bragging
Many of us were raised with messages like “Don’t boast,” or “Let your work speak for itself.” These ideas are deeply ingrained, especially for Black women and professionals in service-based roles. The result? We shrink, downplay our success or wait for others to recognize us.
But there’s a difference between bragging and sharing value. Self-promotion is not about arrogance it’s about alignment. When you promote yourself with the goal of helping, serving or inspiring others, it stops being about ego and starts being about impact.
2. Fear of Judgment
Let’s be honest one of the biggest fears tied to self-promotion is “What will people think?”
You worry that others will roll their eyes, question your credibility, or think you’re trying too hard. But here’s the reality: people are not paying as much attention to you as you think. And the ones who matter? They’re not judging. They’re looking for someone who owns their expertise confidently and they’re more likely to trust you when you do.
3. Lack of Clarity Around Your Brand
If you don’t feel clear on what your message is or what you’re really offering, self-promotion will always feel clunky. When your personal brand is undefined, it’s hard to talk about what you do in a way that feels natural.
That’s why building a strong personal brand is key. Your brand is more than a title or tagline. It’s the emotional impression people walk away with when they interact with you online, on stage, or in person. When you get clear on your message, mission, and values, self-promotion becomes less about “selling yourself” and more about telling your story.
4. Perfectionism and Comparison
You might hesitate to promote yourself because you feel like you’re not “there” yet not ready, not perfect, not polished or you compare yourself to others in your industry who seem more accomplished, more confident or more charismatic.
But visibility doesn’t require perfection, to be honest your audience is more likely to connect with you when you’re relatable, not flawless. Authenticity beats polish every time. Own where you are in your journey and let others see the human side of your brand.
5. Cultural and Social Conditioning
Certain cultures, genders, and backgrounds are conditioned to prioritize humility over self-advocacy. If you’ve been taught that it’s better to stay quiet, defer credit or blend in, then promoting yourself can feel like going against your values.
It’s important to redefine self-promotion as a form of leadership, not self-centeredness. Sharing your message, your voice, and your value is a way of stepping up not stepping over others.
How to Master Self-Promotion Authentically
So how do you begin to feel more comfortable with self-promotion? Here are a few practical tips:
Start with Purpose: Instead of focusing on what you want from others, focus on what you’re offering. How does your work serve or inspire? What transformation do you create?
Practice Your Story: Get comfortable talking about who you are and what you do in a way that feels natural. This can be your speaker intro, your LinkedIn bio, or your elevator pitch.
Share Wins With Gratitude: It’s okay to talk about your accomplishments just do it from a place of gratitude and service. For example: “I’m so proud to have been part of this project because it helps more people feel confident sharing their voice.”
Use Platforms That Feel Aligned: You don’t have to go live on video every day. Choose platforms that match your strengths whether that’s writing, speaking, podcasting, or facilitating panels.
Reframe Visibility as a Gift: Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today. Holding back isn’t modesty it’s missed opportunity.
Self-promotion doesn’t have to feel cringeworthy or performative. When you approach it with clarity, intention and authenticity, it becomes a powerful part of your personal brand.
You deserve to be seen. You deserve to be heard and the world needs what you have to offer so don’t be afraid to show up and shine.
I absolutely love this piece that I was able to contribute to on the power of self-promotion. If you are an entrepreneur, particularly a woman entrepreneur and more specifically a Black woman in business self-promotion can be a difficult area to manoeuvre. People too often confuse self-promotion with narcissism (which is an extreme definition) or arrogance and whilst the lines can be blurred there is a way to publicise your achievements without becoming a narcissist. Sometimes you have to be your own biggest cheerleader, even if it feels uncomfortable because if wait for the validation of others you won't move forward. I work with my clients on their personal brand positioning and how they can harness the power of the individual personal brands to achieve their PR goals and overall business objectives.
I often find that those who avoid self-promotion often use the rationale of being shy to justify their inertia. But I don’t buy that. I think that they’re afraid to shine. We need more role models who can inspire the world, help other women to come out of their shell and start to uplift themselves and encourage each other to stand out. What’s the difference between being pushy and being self-confident? It comes down to self-awareness. If you’re pushy and generally obnoxious it will show in how you interact with people. Do you ask people how they are? Actually listen to their response and wait to hear what they have to say? Or are you just waiting for an opportunity to start talking about yourself? Being self-confident allows you to have valuable, powerful interactions with people. Self-confidence is also about acknowledging another person’s right to shine. When someone else is shining, it gives us the light and motivation to shine brightly too.
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