Why it's Important to Celebrate My Wins

I was recently reminded about a video of the speech I gave at Lancaster University in 2019 when I received an alumni award. It was honestly one of the highlights of that year and discovering the video again filled me with a huge sense of pride. Yet before sharing it, I hesitated. It wasn't because I wasn't proud of the achievement. I was incredibly proud of it but the hesitation came from something I think many people can relate to, particularly when the world feels heavy. At the time (being the pandemic), there was so much sadness, uncertainty and difficult news dominating our lives that celebrating a personal achievement felt slightly uncomfortable. I found myself wondering whether sharing a moment of joy would be perceived as insensitive when so many people were facing genuine challenges.

The more I reflected on it, the more I realised that this wasn't really about the timing of the post. It was about my relationship with success and visibility. I have always found it much easier to celebrate other people's achievements than my own. Much of my career has been built around helping people tell their stories, raise their profiles and receive recognition for their expertise. I genuinely enjoy seeing other people win. I enjoy amplifying their voices and creating opportunities for them to be seen. Over time, championing other people has become second nature. Celebrating myself has never felt quite as instinctive.

I have noticed that many high achievers operate in a similar way. We become so focused on what comes next that we rarely pause long enough to acknowledge what has already happened. A milestone is reached, a goal is achieved, a piece of recognition arrives and before we've properly processed it we're already thinking about the next challenge. Success becomes normalised very quickly. What would have once felt extraordinary becomes another item on a to-do list. We convince ourselves that there will be time to reflect later, but later often never comes.

I think there is another dimension to this for many Black women professionals. We are often taught, either explicitly or implicitly, that our value lies in what we contribute to others. We learn how to support, advocate, nurture and create opportunities. We become very comfortable highlighting the achievements of colleagues, clients, friends and family members. Yet when the spotlight turns towards us, many of us instinctively step away from it. There can be a discomfort around taking up space, around being visible, around publicly acknowledging our own accomplishments. Not because we don't recognise them as achievements, but because we have become so accustomed to centring everyone else.

This is one of the reasons I find conversations about personal branding so interesting. People often assume that personal branding is about self-promotion, but I have never seen it that way. Personal branding is helping people understand who they are and what they stand for. Part of that process involves being willing to acknowledge your achievements. Not because you think you are better than anyone else, but because your accomplishments form part of your story. If you constantly minimise them, hide them or brush past them, people never get to see the full picture.

Looking back, I think my reluctance to share the Lancaster University video came from a combination of factors. There was the discomfort of celebrating during a difficult period. There was my natural tendency to focus on other people's stories before my own. There was probably even a little bit of the working-class mentality that many of us carry, where humility is valued so highly that self-recognition can sometimes feel self-indulgent. Yet the reality is that receiving that award meant a great deal to me. It represented years of hard work, growth and perseverance. It represented a journey that was not always straightforward and recognition from an institution that had played a role in shaping that journey felt significant.

What eventually changed my mind was remembering something I tell other people all the time. Good news matters. Achievement matters. Joy matters. Not because life is perfect, but because it isn't. We need reminders that progress is possible. We need examples of what can happen when people persist. We need moments that inspire us to keep going. If I genuinely believe that other people should celebrate their successes, then I have to extend that same grace to myself.

So I shared the video.

Not because I was looking for validation or because I wanted applause (although it is nice to have those things). I shared it because it was a moment that mattered to me and because I have come to realise that there is nothing wrong with acknowledging the things we are proud of. In fact, I think many of us need to get better at it. We spend so much time moving from one goal to the next that we rarely stop and appreciate how far we have come.

The award may have been received in 2019, but it will always be a win. More importantly, it reminded me that celebrating our achievements does not take anything away from anyone else. There is room for empathy, awareness and compassion. There is also room for pride. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is give ourselves permission to hold all of these at the same time.