How To Celebrate Yourself Without Becoming a Narcissist
I have struggled with my own self-image and esteem. It is probably a bit of a contradiction that as a Public Relations Consultant and personal branding coach. I actually used to shy away from attention, so for example, if someone praises the work I do or invites me to somewhere amazing because they value my presence I genuinely go through a process of inner shock, then gratitude then happiness. I have absolutely no problem celebrating other people though, that's what I do for a living, put other people's visibility before mine without drawing too much attention for myself.
It came to my attention however that by shying away and not just celebrating myself BEFORE others do so, I was doing myself a major disservice. I was not growing or excelling in the way I should because I was hiding behind a mask of modesty which no longer served my greater good. Whilst I'm being honest it also made me resent my own achievements, this is wild, I know but stay with me. It's all very well for people to praise me and say well done but then when I looked at where I was and where I would like to be I downplay those praises because I still didn’t think I was “there”, wherever there is supposed to be. It's a bit of a vicious cycle and as a businesswoman it did me absolutely no good whatsoever.
I do not want to be seen as a narcissist, someone solely concerned with their own achievements that they are not self-aware or mindful but I know that I needed to do more to shine a spotlight on my successes. So I have learnt how to celebrate myself and by doing so I have been able to encourage my clients who are seeking to improve their own personal brands - here are just a few of the things that I have learnt:
1. Do not compare yourself to others. I think sometimes the fear of self-celebration comes from worrying whether you are in fact doing better than other people or not. But none of that really matters. What really matters is that you're doing what's best for you. An inability to praise yourself or even to accept praise is, from my perspective, a symptom of insecurity. Stop comparing and start coruscating.
2. Stay Present, Stay in the moment. The main reason that I do not celebrate my successes is purely because, in my eyes, they are not big enough. Seriously, I can get a lovely media interview or even a fantastic new client but all I do is think about the next goal. I think about the fact that I want more and that it has to be even better. What kind of self-inflicted punishment is that? But I suspect that I am not the only one who does this. We are all guilty of looking to the future instead of just taking a moment to acknowledge and recognise how great life is right now. The moment we stay present to life as it is now, the moment it becomes easier to celebrate when we win at life, and trust me we really are winning at this journey called life, I know I am...(Hooray! I just celebrated myself!).
3. Love yourself as much as you love others. It really is a simple concept but why does it seem so hard at times to just take the time to love yourself and treat yourself with the same of kind, care and attention that you would treat others. It's not being selfish, it's being smart. If you take care of yourself and treat yourself well you will flourish and those around you will enjoy you more. So take the time to reward yourself for every achievement, big and small, that makes you happy and tell people that you're happy. Love yourself and be your own best friend!
What does your best friend do when you do something amazing? They would buy you Champagne or Prosecco and toast life. Why not buy your own bubbles and get toasting and start telling people how amazing you are!
4. Keep giving without expectation. Be open and able to give freely, and this instance I mean give praise and acknowledgement to others and to yourself where it is due. By giving without expectation you reduce the chances of becoming resentful if you do not receive anything in return. By giving yourself a pat on the back without even expecting more from yourself it allows you to take stock and be at peace with what you have accomplished without being too hard on yourself to do more than you are ready for. From all of this remember that the more you give, the more you receive, perhaps not materially but spiritually.
5. Let your light shine! Below is one of my favourite quotes of all time, I still learn from it whenever I read it. Let us remove the fear, the fear of failure or of being deemed to be "too much", let our lights shine. Do not be afraid to let your light shine, it's not showing off it is showing the world who you really are.
I hope this has helped someone reading this as much as it has helped me simply by writing it. If you need any help with being more visible and shining a spotlight on your greatness get in touch.
Personal Brand 3 Month Deep Dive Coaching Package is ideal for business owners, entrepreneurs, creatives or professionals who want to raise their visibility and business credibility through dedicated and intentional personal brand coaching.
This coaching package is for you if:
You have been working hard in your sector for many years but do not get the recognition that you feel like you deserve.
You are tired of doubting yourself and limiting yourself in your sector.
You are often overlooked for exciting new opportunities in your sector.
You are ready for a breakthrough as a leader in your sector.
You have goals that you have buried because of your lack of confidence and are constantly concerned with what other people will think.
You want to widen your circle of influence beyond the people who currently know you.
You are frustrated with the way your online footprint represents you.
You know something is holding you back and need a passionate, honest and pragmatic personal branding coach to take you to the next level.
Clients who have booked this package have left with renewed confidence in their goals and aims; established clarity as it pertains to how they position themselves in their industries and have attracted exciting opportunities which have led to career and business growth. Read what past clients have to say about the personal brand coaching sessions here.
What we will cover over the course of our 3 months:
The Power of a Personal brand - how having a strong personal brand can open up new opportunities in your business or career journey.
Mindset and confidence review - discuss barriers and limitations and how to overcome them.
Harnessing your voice - Knowing and understanding what your message is, who your audience is and how to reach them.
Using PR to enhance your profile - Using public relations strategies to enhance your public profile.
Media training and visibility - how to engage with the press
Identifying your values & Knowing your purpose - Understanding what your brand is and how you can maintain your integrity and authenticity.
Social Media strategy - How to use social media platforms to raise your visibility.
Understanding your audience - unpacking who your audience is and why you want to engage with them
Public Speaking Tips - Advice and guidance on becoming a more confident public speaker.
Measuring Success - Assessing Long term goals and celebrating success.
How it works:
Conducted within 3 calendar months or 12 weeks - must be taken consecutively unless otherwise agreed.
60 minute preparation and brainstorming call - personal branding questionnaire
Two 90 minute coaching calls/face to face meet ups each month or 3 × 1 hour sessions per month
Email check-ins in between calls/meet ups
Assignments and shared document to review progress
Key goals and targets designed to improve progress
Cancellations* must be made within 7 days of order being placed. After which point a refund will be made less a £50 termination fee. This is based on no work being undertaken. If work has already commenced services are not refundable but transferable.
Cancellations on the grounds of a change of business circumstances.