Comparison can be a confidence killer! It is one of those habits that we form from a very early age and becomes so embedded into who we are that we do it everywhere both consciously and sub-consciously. But we have to learn how to stop comparing ourselves to others. By constantly comparing yourself to others you are blocking your progress, all the time and energy that you use to compare the lives of others to your own could and should be used to grow and plants seeds of progress. Being inspired by others is one thing but allowing comparison to make you feel down or even feel jealous is a misuse of energy and here’s why:
Comparison is a thief of joy – it can make you look at your current situation and feel disappointed in your lack of progress or your lack of “things”; too often we compare based on the superficial and it distracts from appreciating what is going well in our lives.
Comparison is a distraction – by distracting you from your own goals it keeps you stuck in place and can often stop you from getting the things that you want because you’re spending so much time looking at what others have.
Comparison kills your confidence – when you compare where others are sometimes you see them as better than you or having more than you, this can leave you disappointed with who you are and really has a negative effect on your confidence.
I know that it is particularly difficult in this digital era, social media almost forces us to compare ourselves to each other on a daily basis but we have to find other ways to measure our progress and monitor our joy. One of the most powerful ways is to stay focused on your path whilst still appreciating that the wins of others is not a sign of failure on your part, the wins of others is actually evidence that great things are possible for you too. You can learn from the wins of others without comparing yourself to them in a way that undermines you.
In this video I give you some advice on why you need to stop comparing yourself to others.
According to the dictionary the definition of shy is to feel” nervous or timid in the company of other people, less than”. Feeling nervous is natural when it is compounded by doubt, however if we allow nerves to rule us it can block us from our progress. The mindset of feeling “less than” means that individuals are not stepping into spaces that they might need to be in, in order for them to thrive. Feeling shy is normal, it is sometimes cute and is absolutely not something to be ashamed of but when it becomes a persistent part of our lives it leads to habits that do not allow us to truly grow. As the founder of a PR consultancy, I often meet people who are super excited about working with a PR agency but then suddenly shut down at the very idea of having to give interviews or shine the spotlight on their involvement in the business. This stems from their own shyness, as they would describe it and yet more often than not I have to say that they are not shy, they are simply afraid to shine. Being shy is another symptom of fear, fear that you do not measure up, fear that you will be exposed as a “fraud” and it is that fear that keeps holding people back. It is a fear that often stops people from networking, public speaking, media interviews and even getting started on a new idea.
People need to build their confidence when working on being the face of their brands or the public face of their businesses. It is so important to do the work to allow your business success to shine and thrive and even if it is not for business use the thoughts I have shared in this video to work on overcoming your shyness and build your confidence.
Confidence is a major key in life – it is the foundation to how we navigate spaces, interact with others and establish relationships. Having confidence will also enable you to work on your personal brand so that you can stand out and own your authenticity. In this video I provide some tips for those of you who need a little bit of encouragement when it comes to boosting your confidence. Here are the key things to keep in mind when looking at how to boost your confidence:
Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone – you can’t grow if you stay within the confines of your comfort zone, do something that scares you a little at least once a month and learn from the process.
Recognise and celebrate your wins and failures – every win is a chance to acknowledge how amazing you are but don’t forget that every failure is also an opportunity to teach you something about yourself and your journey.
As much as possible surround yourself with people who don’t bring you down – there are some people in life who really aren’t good for our mental and spiritual health, take the time to assess whether some of the people in your life may be contributing to your lack of confidence.
Treat yourself – this isn’t about hyper consumerism, you don’t have to spend lots of money to treat yourself kindly and undertake self-care. Whatever self care looks like to you make sure that you show yourself the kindness and compassion that you deserve.
Being in business & professional spaces is not always easy but what helps is having the confidence to know that you are doing your best and you are learning and growing each and every day. When you are more confident about your ability you are able to move forward with clarity and a sense of purpose.