Comparison can be a confidence killer! It is one of those habits that we form from a very early age and becomes so embedded into who we are that we do it everywhere both consciously and sub-consciously. But we have to learn how to stop comparing ourselves to others. By constantly comparing yourself to others you are blocking your progress, all the time and energy that you use to compare the lives of others to your own could and should be used to grow and plants seeds of progress. Being inspired by others is one thing but allowing comparison to make you feel down or even feel jealous is a misuse of energy and here’s why:
Comparison is a thief of joy – it can make you look at your current situation and feel disappointed in your lack of progress or your lack of “things”; too often we compare based on the superficial and it distracts from appreciating what is going well in our lives.
Comparison is a distraction – by distracting you from your own goals it keeps you stuck in place and can often stop you from getting the things that you want because you’re spending so much time looking at what others have.
Comparison kills your confidence – when you compare where others are sometimes you see them as better than you or having more than you, this can leave you disappointed with who you are and really has a negative effect on your confidence.
I know that it is particularly difficult in this digital era, social media almost forces us to compare ourselves to each other on a daily basis but we have to find other ways to measure our progress and monitor our joy. One of the most powerful ways is to stay focused on your path whilst still appreciating that the wins of others is not a sign of failure on your part, the wins of others is actually evidence that great things are possible for you too. You can learn from the wins of others without comparing yourself to them in a way that undermines you.
In this video I give you some advice on why you need to stop comparing yourself to others.
According to the dictionary the definition of shy is to feel” nervous or timid in the company of other people, less than”. Feeling nervous is natural when it is compounded by doubt, however if we allow nerves to rule us it can block us from our progress. The mindset of feeling “less than” means that individuals are not stepping into spaces that they might need to be in, in order for them to thrive. Feeling shy is normal, it is sometimes cute but when it becomes a persistent part of our lives it leads to habits that do not allow us to truly grow. As the founder of a PR consultancy, I often meet people who are super excited about working with a PR agency but then suddenly shut down at the very idea of having to give interviews or shine the spotlight on their involvement in the business. This stems from their own shyness, as they would describe and yet more often than not I have to say that they are not shy, they are simply afraid to shine. Being shy is another symptom of fear, fear that you do not measure up, fear that you will be exposed as a “fraud” and it is that fear that keeps holding people back.
People need to build their confidence when working on being the face of their brands or the public face of their businesses. It is so important to do the work to allow your business success to shine and thrive and even if it is not for business use the thoughts I have shared in this video to work on overcoming your shyness and build your confidence.
Everyone needs a pep talk once in a while and this video is a reminder to celebrate yourself like you are the superstar of your own life. Whether you are a professional, creative or a business owner I believe it is really important to encourage yourself and do whatever it takes to work on your confidence, particularly if you are a woman. We live in a world that does not always like to see confident women, we are not taught to be bold or to own our greatness and qill often be called intimidating or arrogant when we are overtly confident.
Of course I not encouraging narcissism, I am encouraging self awareness and self confidence. I want more women to celebrate their successes boldly and authentically without dimming their lights to make others more comfortable or losing sight of who they really are in the process.
In the video above I wanted to remind you to give yourself the same amount of kudos as you would anyone else who is doing great things in life. Even if you feel like you are in tough situation right now, take a moment to recognise that you are worthy of celebration. I know it is not always easy and I know that sometimes life gets really tough but that is all the more reason to celebrate your wins. You deserve good things to happen to you, you are not an impostor, you are making progress. Do whatever you need to do to build your confidence each and every day and believe that you really are worthy, if that means investing in a life coach or a therapist or finding yourself a mentor do it. I hope this video and this piece helps you to take a moment to see how amazing you are and how amazing you can be!